Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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