you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize