ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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