Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
