Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
