I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
