Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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