Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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