and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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