I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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