Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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