I am in a vortex of obligation.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
