he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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