So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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