idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
