Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
