How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
