What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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