Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.