We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
