can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize