Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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