I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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