Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
