Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
