if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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