I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
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Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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