i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
