weddingsv make me drug and hornr
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
