she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize