drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Holy shit dude........stairs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
