you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize