i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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