I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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