I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
