life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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