I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
