My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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