i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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