Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
