i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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