well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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