my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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