Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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