I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
