saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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