The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
