u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize