Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
