when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You pole danced in your parka.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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