North Korea, Best Korea!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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