I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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