If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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