You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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