Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
