I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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