I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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