I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
