I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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