I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
