My sheets look like a crime scene.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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