I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
