So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
