Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (3242) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease. http://tfl.nu/nyp8
  Replies (97) Good night (1402) Bad night (2983)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing. http://tfl.nu/86sf
  Replies (19) Good night (1521) Bad night (5765)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me http://tfl.nu/6q8m
  Replies (18) Good night (770) Bad night (4147)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52
  Replies (26) Good night (5685) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning http://tfl.nu/2xis
  Replies (12) Good night (2071) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr
  Replies (16) Good night (1134) Bad night (2344)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now http://tfl.nu/qowj
  Replies (10) Good night (3635) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

  (972): View more from Texas

  OHHH and there was a Batman too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard (972): OHHH and there was a Batman too. http://tfl.nu/jx09
  Replies (13) Good night (1459) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening. http://tfl.nu/4psa
  Replies (14) Good night (1385) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch. http://tfl.nu/phk6
  Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (802) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it. http://tfl.nu/oran
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  To be fair I was thirsty

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar (1-780): To be fair I was thirsty (780): When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!" http://tfl.nu/ztbw
  Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (430)

Randomize