No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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