you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.