Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word