WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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