Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(925): View more from California

when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt

Replies (30) Good night (935) Bad night (2084)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/5spj

Replies (9) Good night (856) Bad night (2099)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack

Replies (30) Good night (5395) Bad night (1134)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse

Replies (28) Good night (11131) Bad night (1451)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much http://tfl.nu/4hfy

Replies (17) Good night (1479) Bad night (3687)
Favorite
(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0

Replies (39) Good night (1132) Bad night (11339)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

it was like having sex with a tree stump

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): it was like having sex with a tree stump http://tfl.nu/4ao5

Replies (36) Good night (1249) Bad night (6704)
Favorite
(554): View more from

No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(554): No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted http://tfl.nu/praq

Replies (12) Good night (2284) Bad night (1097)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes. http://tfl.nu/0e2s

Replies (11) Good night (2315) Bad night (807)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks

Replies (33) Good night (3108) Bad night (995)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?! http://tfl.nu/b8ik

Replies (11) Good night (1255) Bad night (875)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz

Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (334)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain. http://tfl.nu/4o3l

Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (700)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control. http://tfl.nu/1mo8

Replies (0) Good night (943) Bad night (298)
Favorite
(559): View more from California

You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(559): You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event http://tfl.nu/bllo

Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (196)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: