I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.