Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.

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  (201): you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful. http://tfl.nu/ngce
  Replies (10) Good night (10012) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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  (586): Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white? http://tfl.nu/dlzj
  Replies (28) Good night (2657) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  where do you find these guys?

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  (703): so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen" (1-703): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/45ye
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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  (215): tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style. http://tfl.nu/z5di
  Replies (11) Good night (3444) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you

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  (740): I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you http://tfl.nu/cn0s
  Replies (19) Good night (2492) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties

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  (508): The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties http://tfl.nu/xmd1
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (1615) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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  (937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb
  Replies (12) Good night (2860) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

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  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (1982) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

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  (575): I have a broken liver (1-575): I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us. http://tfl.nu/0hjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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  (804): Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me. http://tfl.nu/bct9
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.

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  (402): I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing. http://tfl.nu/1xq6
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"

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  (835): You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood" http://tfl.nu/u3xk
  Replies (2) Good night (1154) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil

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  (773): I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil http://tfl.nu/zlzm
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

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  (281): I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot. http://tfl.nu/j0eg
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.

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  (586): He probably thinks you're playing hard to get. (248): Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone. http://tfl.nu/1zpx
  Replies (1) Good night (1131) Bad night (219)

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